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5 random results

You have 5 things, 3 A woman in rags bursts from a nearby alley, city guards in hot pursuit, and slams into you. Desperation on her face, she throws a small cloth-bound bundle into your hands and gasps, "Protect the Kingdom. Don't let them get this!", 5 D\E9j\E0 vu: there is something familiar about all this. (Give the PCs a couple of results just before they happen, giving them the choice to take different actions.)
You have 10 things, 3 A cat stuck in a tree mewls at the party., 1 The festival is in town. A large circus has arrived and the streets are full of fun and joy. Many acts and harmless but entertaining magic amaze the people. Once they leave, it's discovered that some people have gone missing - homeless drunks, prostitutes and children. Following the circus, the PCs won't find the missing townspeople. The owner lets the PCs search around and question the workers; he has nothing to hide. An important clue is that one of the missing people had an unusual tattoo of their clan or faith on their ankle. A sharp-eyed PC will spot the tattoo on the ankle of a caged lion. The circus is using some kind of magic to turn undesirables from towns into circus animals for the show!
You have 7 things, 2 An undertaker lurks nearby. He points to each member and correctly guesses their height and weight., 2 The PCs find the item they have been seeking in the marketplace. As the purchase is completed and they are about to leave, a stranger rushes up to the merchant shouting, "I know you have it Balthasar, and I want my <insert item here> back now!"
You have 1 things, 1 Upon arriving in town, people stare at the party from every window, door, balcony and street corner. Someone offers a funny insult, and soon everyone is gutting themselves, laughing at the PCs., 4 Anyone drinking the water becomes ill. The sickness lasts for a few days and causes vomiting, aches, pains and delusions. Other towns in the area have also been affected. Investigating this, the PCs find out the same river flows past all the towns affected. The PCs must travel upstream to find the source of the sickness, which brings them to a coven of witches poisoning the water.
You have 5 things, 2 There is but one accepted religion in town. What about the party cleric who serves what is here deemed a false god?, 5 The whole city is under a reverse gravity spell, and kuo-toas, unaffected by the spell, are attacking from the harbor.
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